My next entry into my journaling as provided by my journal prompt…(SEE HERE), my next prompt asked me….Take a roadblock in your life right now, and ask the question: What would this look like if it were were easy?
I need to start with my greatest roadblock, and that is my relationship to food. I really struggle with food, and I do so for a multitude of reasons. Part of it is I like to eat in general, and I like people, and in the South where I grew up and where I live now, food is part of the communal experience. Countless people in my life are where they are in my life because of a meal shared, a coffee drank, a dessert had, a drink had, chips and salsa, and of course the best thing ever to do, a crawfish boil. I love food and I love to eat. Another thing about me, is that I am really insecure about most of the things in my life. I am sensitive to others’ opinions and thoughts of me, and do they like me, or are they mad, or did I offend them, or do the like being around me, do they think I’m talented, or good at my job, and the like. Unlike people, food in my life has never judged me, it has never told me I am fat, or ugly, or unlikable, or bad. It has just always been there. What would life be like if it were easy? I think I would be way better rounded, I think I would have some pretty good fun with my family, and on my trips, and I think I would be a private pilot. I might even have an airplane? I would ride roller coasters, and hike the Grand Canyon, and be so much more active than I am now. I think I would be calmer, more caring, easier going, more focused, and more outgoing. I would have better vision, fashion, time management and a better social life than I do.
I also worry, that I wherever I would go, there I would be, with my insecurities, my demons, and my shortcomings, and I think I might just be asking the same questions with a smaller waist size. I also think, we are about to find out as I am going to make some changes in my life.
This is my third installment of this series and I’m liking this! I write this raw, no editing, no SEO, no nothing, just writing from the stream of thoughts in my head. I would love it if you commented and liked these so I know there are others out there enjoying this! See you next time.